"Everyday is another..."

Today is Wednesday.

Today is the Wednesday when Jesus did nothing. 

Wait.

What? 

Apparently, he did nothing. 

And apparently I am an orange.

I think there is more to nothing.

Continuing with the idea of Passion Week, now is about the time when Jesus speaks of things that are to come, the closing of the age that is, and the signs that will show it.

Ok, now that is way over my head. 

The age to come? What age is that and what is an age?!

The signs of Jesus coming back? Does that mean destruction or does that mean I will be in heaven; am I going to heaven?

The word "tribulation" is said in Matthew, and we all know what that means.

No, not really. I have no idea. 

I guess it means trouble of some sort. Jesus says: "they will deliver you up to tribulation and put you to death, and you will be hated by all nations for my sake."

Oh, ok. Got it.

Something to look forward to.

Now, I am not trying to be insensitive. I am actually just trying to be more sensitive to what all this is saying, but it is hard to understand. 

I heard recently that maybe the age to come has already passed, and that all the signs occurred. And that the destruction of the temple that Jesus talks about in here was the destruction that happened already. 

All this to say that I don't find the facts important. Not at all.

But Yes, we are to take heed of what Jesus is telling us to do.

Do you know what he is saying?

He is telling us to STAY AWAKE because we do not know when all this is coming, if it is during our time.

Just STAY AWAKE.

But that is not the part that has got me.

Reading through all this, I realized that I am going to die.

I am going to be dead. A corpse. A body without biological life. Without physical breath. Without blood flowing through it. Without movement.

And I must confess, it terrifies me to think of death, because it will become me.

I am not ready to die. The idea of this blackness, this loneliness that crushes your chest because it is so powerful fills me with terror.

Terror like that of when you don't know what is 

behind the closet door

under the bed

below your feet in the water

across, through the window

beyond the darkness in the hallway

inside the hole in the wall

in the dark corner of the room

in the thoughts of people

in the deep caverns of your mind

in the urgent desires of your heart.

I am afraid of death, because I still have doubt.

But death didn't stop Jesus.

Doubt left him.

 

Sunday's ah-comin'...